Home Movies

We had so much fun last week writing about hauntings in our home states, Trex and I decided to continue the theme. This time we bring you horror movies set in both Maryland and New Mexico, with minor detours to Texas (where Trex spent several years before Maryland) and Utah (where I lived for frickin’ decades before New Mexico). I’m gonna be up front, though. If this were a contest, Trex would win. Maryland and Texas both have impressive lists of classic horror to their names, while New Mexico and Utah really don’t. Still, I’m gonna work with what I’ve got.

Let’s start with Maryland, since this state is the obvious winner. Not that it’s a contest, but Maryland wins. First, it gave us The Exorcist, one of the all time classics of horror. If you somehow haven’t seen The Exorcist, or read the book it’s inspired by, or listened to any podcasts talking about it, the movie is about an exorcism. I grew up during the Satanic Panic and distinctly remember my parents gossiping on occasion about various teens being attacked by Satan and such, so I used to be terrified of possession and demonic horror. The first time I “watched” this movie at a friend’s house, my eyes were closed maybe 70% of the time. As I got older and my terror turned into fascination, the movie still held up. Even decades later, this movie evokes a deep atmosphere of dread that’s hard to beat.

As if that classic wasn’t enough, Maryland also brought us The Blair Witch Project, one of the classic “found footage” films. In a fun Utah connection, this Maryland-set movie first premiered at Utah’s Sundance Festival. When the movie first premiered, all the promos were still pretending this was a documentary. I lived in Utah at the time but I had no money and no car so I did not see the premier. I saw it much later at a local theater like everybody else. By that time, word was out that the Blair Witch was fiction and the “missing” actors were alive and well and giving interviews about the film.

And last but not least, Maryland gets a bonus point because famous cannibal Hannibal Lecter (from Silence of the Lambs and such) was part of Baltimore’s elite before he was caught and imprisoned (also in Baltimore) for killing and eating people.

New Mexico, meanwhile, is not the home of any horror classics. It is the home of remakes of horror classics. (And of Breaking Bad, which isn’t really horror even though it features a lot of murders.) New Mexico brings us Let Me In, the American remake of Sweden’s Let the Right One In. Both of them are vampire/coming of age films and they’re really really similar. Let Me In is set in 1980s Los Alamos, though that has pretty much nothing to do with anything. I’ve seen both the original and the remake and they both have their merits. Let Me In is a Hammer Film and has their signature stylish, almost poetic moments of horror. As far as the plot goes, both movies end exactly the same, but the New Mexico remake is shot better and has more drama and poignancy.

New Mexico also brings us the remake of Wes Craven’s classic The Hills Have Eyes, and with it a complaint I just can’t shake. Both movies are largely about a family lost in the desert being stalked by murderous mutants. Craven’s original was set in California and Alexandre Aja, the remake’s director, moved it to New Mexico so he could change the film’s backstory. In the remake, the villainous mutants are the result of nuclear testing and part of the film’s action takes place in one of those creepy fake towns full of mannequins built to test the damage done by bombs. It’s a good idea and adds some interest and some cool creepy visuals to Aja’s remake. My complaint is that Aja, like a lot of people, seems to have New Mexico and Nevada confused. I get it, they’re both mostly desert and they’re both famous for aliens and nuclear weapons. New Mexico is famous for inventing the atom bomb and the first test was here, but most of the above ground testing was done in Nevada, so they should have the murderous mutants. New Mexico has a bad enough reputation already. We don’t need mutants on top of it.

Okay, enough of New Mexico. It has no honorable mentions. Instead I’ll move on to Utah, where Ari Aster’s Hereditary is set. I saw Hereditary but completely forgot it was set in Utah. This one is partly a disturbing look at grief and death, and partly a disturbing look at ceremonial magic and Victorian-style occult societies. It’s a great film, a modern classic. One point for me! But it’s not a contest.

If it were a contest, Trex would reach back to her time in Texas and fire back with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It’s even got Texas in the name so you can’t forget where the massacre is set. Another classic, this time featuring young people finding a seemingly deserted farmhouse only to be chased and killed by the creepy chainsaw-wielding family within. One of the first big slasher films, the Chainsaw Massacre has a slew of sequels and remakes with Texas in their titles.

I’m really glad this isn’t a contest because my desolate little western states just don’t have a comeback to that one. There might not be any states as terrifying as Texas and Maryland. Trex is clearly a badass afraid of nothing to live in such places. I’ll stay out here with the sand and the nuclear mutants, thank you very much.

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The Human Vampire and The Haunted Chamber

I got this book from an oddities shop in El Paso. Tooth and Veil is more about gothy jewelry and decor than books so this was a lucky find, this duo of obscure tales from the 1800s. Instead of a teaser or summary, the back of this book has a warning that these stories are “products of their time” and have “social norms, prejudices, stereotypes, and attitudes of the era that do not represent today’s society or values.” The introduction is a fascinating little tale in itself about the joys and hardships of preserving old stories like this. This feels like the smallest of small publishing, an amazing little passion project.But enough about the publisher/reviver; on to the stories themselves.

The Human Vampire; or, the Elixir of Life is is credited to K. F. Hill, the pen name of Lucy A Baer. Almost nothing is known about her, which is a shame because this story is pretty fun.

This is the story of a man who discovers a way to prolong his life and youth. He uses this discovery, of course, to scam women out of money. He sweeps through Southern society using his youthful good looks and suave British accent to woo young heiresses. Once he’s blown through his current heiress’s money he conveniently “dies,” only to pop up somewhere else with his youth restored, ready to scam someone else. Unfortunately, Southern society is small enough that eventually one widowed heiress runs into another and a handful of people get suspicious. The ages don’t make any sense but the resemblance between their various husbands is just too great to be ignored.

The story follows both our villain, who goes by various names as he continually reinvents himself, and his victims as they try to investigate this elusive scam artist. Despite our buttoned up stereotype of the 1800s, I find their horror can be surprisingly graphic and tragic. As we follow our heroes’ investigations we uncover the villain’s horrifying experiments in pursuit of perfecting his elixir of life, and though he does come to a suitably tragic end, his latest wife and children are caught in the crossfire and their lives end tragically as well.

The Human Vampire is also, I think, the main reason for the warning on the back of the book. The late 1800s were a pretty racist time in American history and this book reflects that. The Irish characters are not put in a flattering light and are written in horrendous vernacular. The few black characters are treated more sympathetically, especially the black families who fall victim to the villains’ experiments, but there’s nothing like a modern understanding or nuance here. I’ve read a lot of stories from this era and found this less uncomfortable than most, but the old-timey attitudes might still grind your gears.

Still, I loved this story. It was exciting, the characters were fun to read, and the ending was surprising and dark and morally messy. It truly feels like a hidden gem and makes me hope we discover more of Lucy Baer’s lost work someday.

The second story, The Haunted Chamber, is a bit more known and available online. It’s written by Margaret Wolfe Hungerford under the pen name “The Duchess.” It’s a much more straightforward story of love and betrayal, written in a calm and knowing style that highlights the drama of the story, while also having a subtle sense of humor throughout.

Sir Adrian Dynecourt has come home to settle in his family’s castle and invited several friends to stay with him, including the lovely Miss Florence Delmaine and her chaperone, Mrs. Talbot. Unfortunately, Adrian’s jealous cousin Arthur also crashes the party. Social maneuvering and miscommunication turn to betrayal as Arthur tries to secure Miss Delmaine (and her sizable fortune) for himself. If he can somehow also get his cousin’s castle, his triumph will be complete.

This castle, like many, has been rebuilt and added to over the centuries. One tower of the original building still stands, though it’s mostly abandoned now in favor of newer more comfortable areas of the castle. Now it’s the subject of ghost stories and family lore and one very real chamber near the top that locks itself if you let the door close. I think you can imagine where Arthur is tempted to trap his cousin.

There aren’t many surprises in this story. The pleasure is in watching events play out to their inevitable end, and in the elegant feel of the writing. And there is pleasure in it. I enjoy a solid classic tale and this delivers.

Both of these tales, especially the nearly forgotten Human Vampire, brought home to me just how long pulp horror has been around. Stories like these from the 19th century are becoming quite rare as the paper they’re printed on literally disintigrates and it makes me wonder just how many spooky treasures are lost forever. Now that’s a truly horrifying thought. Let’s find them and read them while we still can.

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It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Back in June my sister and I started a Substack to review books. We both love to read and I, in particular, love the dark and spooky side of life. We write about horror novels new and old, mysteries, pulp fiction from decades past, and occasionally other dark and spooky things. We’ve been doing the Substack for a while and it still doesn’t feel like home. Substack is where all the pundits are and anybody who’s anybody is writing there but it’s really hard to find and follow anyone who isn’t already a popular pundit. I miss the community and hobby-supporting feel of WordPress so I’m going to post our stuff here as well as there.

Starting on Friday I’ll try to set things up to post more or less simultaneously on both sites but today I’m linking our original introductions by way of hello. My sister is Trex and I’m Spooky Jo. Yes, we have goofy internet handles because I guess we’re both stuck in the 1990s. Whatever, I enjoy it. If you find us amusing and/or like our book suggestions you can follow and comment here or subscribe on Substack to have us delivered straight to you every Friday (and every Wednesday in October as well).

https://trex6666.substack.com/p/it-was-a-dark-and-stormy-night

https://trex6666.substack.com/p/introducing-trex

I’m content to labor in obscurity if I must because I love to read and blog that much, but I hope to find other avid readers and kindred spooky spirits to share suggestions and opinions with. If that sounds like you, please join us and leave us a comment.